[Untitled]
When the last out is recorded, celebration.
When the last out is recorded, relief.
Feelings of jubilation yet empty.
When the last out is recorded, new pain.
When the last out is recorded, new goals.
Darkness again.
When the last out is recorded, seems empty.
When the last out is recorded, was
it worth the wait.
When the last out is recorded, heartbreak no more.
When the last out is recorded, no more
pain as pleasure.
When the last out is recorded, weeping prevails
When the last out is recorded, streaks
commence.
When the last out is recorded, peace.
When the last out is recorded, chapters close and
no more waiting for next year.
This isn't exactly what I wanted with this idea, and I'm already trying to do a rewrite.
Try Amy's strategy of replacing abstractions (which pretty much end each line, here--"celebration," "relief," "pain," "goals," etc.) with concrete images.
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