Vertigo
Somebody point the commotion,
like we are some great prize.
Devouring the many-storied building,
like a hungry beat in Autumn.
My insides shift,
like a piece of the road.
Dreams climb over a fence as
the circle works.
We are priviledge, because
James Stewart is passionately in love.
I had about 15 more lines, but I saw this theme after I read the like about James Stewart. I was wondering if I could build a poem around James Stewart with just the lines I read in the books. I made many cuts and changed some of the word chances.
I like what you've got here. Be sure to try to crank up the specificity in terms of words like dream and commotion. What I've try to when I face situations like this is to try to pair the changes with a seemingly opposite sense. For example: one can make a commotion with one's hands, see it with their eyes, and hear it with their ears. The idea of smelling or tasting a commotion seems a bit "strange" for a better word. Try to make it strange, I'm curious to see what you might come up with.
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